Stefanie and Michael

November 11, 2005
in the Grand Salon at the Moana Surfrider
Honolulu, Hawa'i




(photo credit: Stefanie Riedel)



The wedding was beautiful.  Everything went perfectly, thanks to our wedding coordinator Kelly Sugano and thanks to all our family and friends who helped us out on our wedding day.  I couldn't have asked for a better day.  We danced our first dance outside on the Grand Terrace at sunset, and enjoyed the rest of the evening with our loved ones in the Grand Salon to an amazing night of food and entertainment.


Unfortunately, as perfect as our wedding was, our marriage was a failure.


Stefanie walked out on our relationship of six years just six months after our wedding, returning home to her parents in California and leaving me alone in Hawai'i.  I feel that she had no justifiable reason to walk out on me, and I was completely willing and able to work on any problems that we were having to make them better.  She, however, did not feel the same way.

If there is one thing I can say to any of you who come visit this wedding xanga looking for the man who truly enjoyed planning his wedding and was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with a woman he loved, it's this:

It's not about the wedding and how beautiful and wonderful the day is going to be. 

It's really all about the marriage... it's about the relationship.  It's about more than love and romance -- it's about commitment. 

It's about really believing what you are saying when you are saying your vows to your husband or wife.  Those vows have meaning -- you stick by each other through sickness and health, through good times and bad, not running out on each other at the first sign of trouble. 

It's about swearing to each other, and to yourself, that you will have faith in each other, and that you will commit, fully with all your mind, body, heart and soul -- with your life; to each other and for each other.

I would have rather had a terrible wedding day and a wonderful marriage.  Instead, I got the opposite.

If you are having a problem with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don't think that getting engaged or getting married will solve those problems.  Those problems should be solved before you even begin thinking about your marriage or even before planning your wedding. 

And when you are in the process of planning your wedding, and the stress is getting to the two of you, remember to not lose focus on your relationship and the commitment the two of you have decided to take on together. 

Save your marriage before it starts.

When you say your vows on your wedding day, remember me, and what happened to me.  Never forget what I told you.  Even the most beautiful of relationships and the most beautiful of loves can go awry if the foundation of the relationship is not one rooted in true commitment to each other.

With my Love and Aloha, and for the last time as mecha_groomzilla...

-- Michael